You Might Be a Knitter If

Originally published at Am I the Only One Dancing?. Please leave any comments there.

Yarn Palette (Photo credit: Dvortygirl)

When you schedule a bunch of tweets a day, it sometimes gets challenging to come up with original material along with the links and political stuff and books to recommend and all that jazz. Last night my brain was exhausted, I was trying to get at least a two day weekend out of the four day weekend, and I was running out of ideas. So somehow the bastard brain child of Jeff Foxworthy and the Yarn Harlot was born in my brain. Here are the ones I came up with last night:

You might be a knitter if – you know that ‘frogging a cowl’ is a bad thing that doesn’t involve amphibians.

You might be a knitter if – your eyes are fine but you have a large collection of audio books.

You might be a knitter if – you’d rather have a long wait than a short one at the doctor’s office because you have a sock to finish.

You might be a knitter if – you talk about using needles in public and aren’t diabetic or addicted to heroin or crank.

You might be a knitter if – you know that dental floss can be used as a lifeline.

You might be a knitter if – you go to department stores in the winter to steal ideas and not buy clothes.

You might be a knitter if – you call acrylic yarn ‘that nasty squeaky stuff’.

And here’s some more I thought of today:

You might be a knitter if – you’ve seriously considered raising rabbits or sheep on an urban lot.

You might be a knitter if – fondling wool holds more (or at least the same) appeal as fondling (censored).

You might be a knitter if – you don’t own a single pair of white socks.

You might be a knitter if – your yarn budget exceeds your food budget.

You might be a knitter if – you know that ‘yarn bombing‘ means something soft and fuzzy, not terroristic (but still possibly illegal)

You might be a knitter if – you’ve found yourself branching out to spinning and weaving and crocheting.

You might be a knitter if – you know that fiber is wool and cotton and silk, not bran and oats and raspberries.

Feel free to add your own.

 

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