I'm pretty sure after three days of messing with it that Dreamwidth won't do what I need it to do in order to use it as a blog that I can 1) limit comments to reduce spam, 2) crosspost the *whole post* easily to Facebook and at least links elsewhere and 3) not have to fuss with. It has posted with the wrong date (by 3 years) every time I've used it and I've had to go back in and fix it each time. I may experiment with Tumblr for a bit, but their comment functionality is a simple on/off. And it may be old, but a free hosted wordpress.com subdomain site might end up being the best solution.

It's raining and my little garden is doing well. None of the peppers and only one of the squash family have sprouted, so either the seeds were too old for those types or they take longer to germinate. My garden is a bit of a happy experiment this year and is doing well overall, so I'm not going to sweat it.

Today I walked into my office and breathed a sigh of contentment vs. frustration. The room is functional. Next stop, dining room (which is 1/2 of a greatroom setup). Tomorrow I'll tackle the living room, and then I will be done with vacation and it'll probably take 2 days to do my bedroom because of that.

Gratitudes: I've been taking care of myself and the results are starting to show. I'm generally happy. The good news that I still can't tell anyone about is still making me happy.

Accountability Post: Both hubby and I have doctor appointments today. Coincidentally and conveniently, they are both in the same building, a little over an hour apart. So that's a long visit, but just one. And I'll be bringing my bag of anxiety comforts (knitting, a couple of postcards to color, pens and colored pencils, my bujo, a phone charger, Trident cinnamon sugarless gum, and my ebook).

His is an MRI of his brain, mine is a skin check (dermatology). I'm 52 and very blonde, so...

I'm going to try to get the scanning and shredding done today, too. I sorted the paperwork I've been lugging around, and now I'm tackling one pile at a time, hopefully, one each day. (Yesterday's was to throw out everything that didn't need to be kept or shredded, and to do the sorting)

I *might* tackle one or both of the rough drafts I've got saved to my website and ready to clean up, but I might not. Creative brain is on vacation today.

Gratitudes: Never thought I'd be grateful for bill day, but I have all the money I need and then some. So I'm grateful. Grateful for a car with *cold* AC, because it's 20 minutes to the doc, and a hot, muggy day. Grateful that Jason has been doing the lion's share of the housework and allowed me to focus on the work I need to do to get Out of My Mind "out there" and making money.

Accountability Post: Still super tired and shaky, but I'm going to make it to work today. At least my stomach is feeling better. I'm pretty sure it was just a *really bad* IBS episode. No fever or anything, so that's a good guess.

Thanks to L.M. Kate JohnsTon, I have a succinct phrase to sum up "social justice perspective". It means "even when the world doesn't, I've got your back.". And now the "steps" are coming clear, too. Yay. This is actually a really big deal for me. I've been gestating this for quite a bit. (Note to self: also want to discuss the idea of "gestating change" in a video at some point.

Here's a first draft of the "principles" of the social justice perspective. Feedback is welcome. If you're reading this and are not a friend, message me. I have my page set to only comments from friends for a very important professional reason.

1. Look at all the ways that biology, trauma, human systems, privilege and marginalization play in your life and in your mental health situation.
2. Help you to recognize all these different influences and where they come from.
3. Help you work with all of these different influences where they benefit you, and fight them or accept them (always your choice) where they don’t.
4. Make consent culture explicit in your mental health, including pointing out and assisting in relationships in personal life and the community where your consent and boundaries are not being respected.
5. Encouraging you to recognize your emotions and work with them (redirecting them into positive venues) vs. attempting to “control” (suppress) them.
6. Center your life in the context of community, however that is defined in your life.

The social justice perspective does not attempt to make activists out of everyone. It simply attempts to have everyone understand how the things that systems do affect them.

It is different from the bio/psycho/social model in that instead of leaving the understanding of how society affects individuals in the hands of professionals, it explicitly works to have individuals understand how their lives and their choices are affected by systems.

A perspective in mental health is different from a theory or a modality, in that it is used in addition to specific therapy methods rather than instead of.

Anyhoo. That gives me tomorrow's video. If I stop being shaky long enough to record it.

Gratitudes: I am grateful for a day of rest. I am grateful for a soft, comfortable bed. I am grateful that I'm feeling *somewhat* better today.

Accountability Post: Another long day. Nine appointments scheduled, and my overdue video to record. This might be another one video week, and I am now TWO (soon to be three) articles behind. I will have a paperwork day on Saturday that will be devoted to scanning, shredding, and writing.

I have something affecting me that is HIPAA protected so I can't discuss it, so I will probably be utilizing my peer supervision with one of my two co-peers sometime this week. Self-care is important, folks.

I'm probably going to noodle about bullet journaling and mental health in an upcoming video because it has been revolutionary in the way it has changed my life and it is a *customizable* experience for nearly anyone literate.

We signed the paperwork for the bankruptcy yesterday, and *all of our debt* will be *gone* in a few weeks except the monthly payment we'll be making. Folks, if you can possibly avoid having a long, slow, expensive health decline during which doctors are assuring you that the *next* surgery will fix everything, please do so. Bankruptcy isn't fun. And yes, the advice was sarcasm. I mean, we started this surgery journey back in 2006 or even earlier. And it was *realistic* that he was going to get better.

Gratitudes: A huge weight almost entirely off my shoulders (still have the meeting with the creditors to get through). A budget that will be *affordable* for us, and even allow some savings. The muse has stuck with me now pretty much constantly for several months.

Accountability Post: Headed to the office earlier than I'd planned because I left my mouse pad at work, and without it, I don't have the precision I need to do my video editing. Yes, I know touchpads are a thing. I'm old, and I hate them. Next question?

Woke up with a massive earache in my left ear. It's been bad off and on for a week. Time to power through.

Today's to-do includes video editing, writing an article, unlocking some posts, making sure I share and advertise some stuff, seeing six people including an intake, doing some more notes, and running to the store to pick up cat food and something I can't remember right now but hopefully will come to me. Also, if I have time, scanning and shredding documents and printing out some medical records for requests I've gotten.

I've renewed my energy a bit by getting good sleep. I think I can get most or all of that done. Also, this morning I *really* want to start getting my bujo to the place where I'm using it well again. I'm going to have to add daily pages to my weekly pages to make it work, but that's fine. They don't have to be fancy.

Gratitudes: I am grateful for ibuprofen. I am grateful that today has less 'built-in' busyness so that I can decide what goes where. I am grateful that my husband started my morning by making my coffee a one-button-press deal.

Accountability Post: Yesterday started with a doctor's appointment ("women's exam", yay!) then some thrift shopping where I found some great things, then grocery shopping, then a short visit with a friend who dropped in unexpectedly, then something in the neighborhood of 10 loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away, including pulling out clothes for donation from my drawers.

So my calves are feeling it from going up and down the stairs to the basement all day. Hoo boy, my calves are feeling it. Trying something new this week with my video by recording the voice separate from the visual. Have recorded the voice for "What to Do When You've Been Hotlined for Child Abuse", and am editing it now. Afterwards, I will do the visual, probably of a coloring page that deals with adversity, because whether or not the child truly needed to be protected, most parents who are hotlined feel like the world is a terrifying place, for at least a bit.

Have a pretty long day at work today, from 12:30 to about 7 pm (in addition to the work I get done this morning). Will try to get the video completely edited and up by bedtime tonight.

Gratitudes: I can find *all* my clothes. And they fit in my drawers and closet. I have lots of food in the house, including quick and easy food for bad pain days for hubby. I have nice clean sheets and clean comforter on my bed.

TMI space.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
( Read more... )

Accountability Post: Finished recording tomorrow's video. After getting notes done this morning, will start the editing process. I'm thinking of creating a series of 3-minute mindfulness practices for people to follow along with and do. Thoughts? It would start with a screen telling folks what materials (if any) they need for the practice, then a brief explanation, then three minutes of practice, and a short debriefing. Total video time under 5 minutes.

Tomorrow is paperwork day. I must be nuts to be so incredibly happy to have a day where I will be doing nothing but very difficult (for me) paperwork tasks, but I am truly excited about it.

If I am successful at getting everything done tomorrow, my summer looms before me with Actual! Time! Off!

My video editing is getting quicker and more proficient. I still have a lot to learn, but it's *fun*.

Gratitudes: My husband got the new plates on the Honda today. My video today went off really well, as did the "quick tip". I've been successful in upping my fluid intake.

Accountability Post: Sean Liles and Elizabeth Liles have been in town all weekend and won't be leaving until tomorrow. However, this morning before I go to work is really the last time I'll have to spend with them, as I have some important obligations tomorrow I absolutely can't get out of, and 9 appointments scheduled today I also can't get out of. My husband woke me up at 6 am today thinking he needed me up for something, and I won't have any time for sleep catchup before now and needing to finish notes, call people who want to set up intakes and finish the bankruptcy paperwork.

Gratitudes: 5 whole days to spend with my family. Enough money to feed them. Plenty of rain (and then some).

My Saturday Morning is busier than usual, with 4 appointments including an intake. After that, I will *at least* run to Dollar General and perhaps do my grocery shopping, and then this weekend will be a creative work and paperwork weekend. If I'm done by Monday I'll hang out in Skyrim then.

Yes, I'm aware I'm exhausted. This *should be* the last weekend I'm working this hard (though next weekend is colonoscopy prep... yippee!) and then I can start working through the backlog and keeping on track. I'm frankly amazed at how much difference the Wellbutrin makes. I know it's not for everyone, but it has been nothing short of miraculous for me.

Gratitudes: Grateful for all this energy. Grateful for improved executive function. Grateful that we didn't get hit by a tornado last night, nor is my office flooded.