Using Kindness to Disarm Anger: A Lesson in Shared Pain

Originally published at Am I the Only One Dancing?. Please leave any comments there.

Angry Sphynx (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why disarm anger and not just walk away or react angrily yourself? Because most of the time, not only does it help the angry person, it helps you and the people you care about as well. You develop a skill that is useful at home, at work, and even in random public places.

You know the scene: The boss screams, the co-worker curses, the customer threatens, the sister, the uncle, the brother in law, the spouse, and the parent blame. You want to grit your teeth and find something better to do or get ready to do battle. And yet, if you take the time to disarm the anger, you’ll have a better outcome, and you know it.

I’m going to let you in on a a little secret. All of those angry people are in pain. Most of them are in the pain of fear or anxiety (which is like fear but on steroids and constant), and quite a few are in actual physical pain. And pain nearly always (though not always immediately) responds to kindness.

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Quick Housecleaning Note: RSS Feed, Newsletter, Forums, New Contributors

Originally published at Am I the Only One Dancing?. Please leave any comments there.

Had a bit of a problem with the website and RSS feed today, and had to point the feed to a new address. If you’ve recently added the website to your feed reader, please point your feed here.

When I return from out of town this weekend, I will be setting up subscribe by email options with a newsletter.  I would appreciate ideas for ‘subscription only’ features you would like. Perhaps some sort of ebook? Recipes from overthinker?

Also, in case you haven’t noticed, I have forums. Please feel free to introduce yourself (real

name or ‘real’ name) and start conversations. I will be moderating for personal attacks and spam, but I encourage discussions to be intense and interesting, and trolls to be systematically starved or disemvoweled.

Finally, I have asked (you could say ‘conned’) several people I know and love to contribute to the website. As each comes on board, they will introduce themselves and I will add a note about why this person is wonderful and special.

These guys are getting paid in appreciation, folks. Make sure you pay them well.