odanu | Jun. 18th, 2019

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Jun. 18th, 2019

TMI space.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
( Read more... )

Accountability Post: Already have the video for yesterday rendering before uploading. Will split the audio as soon as that is done. I have nine appointments scheduled today with 8 expected to make it, an advocacy letter to write, and a script to write for the next video (already started. It's going to be on the DBT "What" mindfulness skills). When I get home I want to do a quick cleanup of the dining room, and then relax for the evening if possible.

Gratitudes: I am grateful for a good night's sleep. I am grateful that when I listened to Watership Down as an audiobook, I was delighted to find that Peter Capaldi was the narrator. I am grateful for good friends and family.

Accountability Post: Yesterday started with a doctor's appointment ("women's exam", yay!) then some thrift shopping where I found some great things, then grocery shopping, then a short visit with a friend who dropped in unexpectedly, then something in the neighborhood of 10 loads of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away, including pulling out clothes for donation from my drawers.

So my calves are feeling it from going up and down the stairs to the basement all day. Hoo boy, my calves are feeling it. Trying something new this week with my video by recording the voice separate from the visual. Have recorded the voice for "What to Do When You've Been Hotlined for Child Abuse", and am editing it now. Afterwards, I will do the visual, probably of a coloring page that deals with adversity, because whether or not the child truly needed to be protected, most parents who are hotlined feel like the world is a terrifying place, for at least a bit.

Have a pretty long day at work today, from 12:30 to about 7 pm (in addition to the work I get done this morning). Will try to get the video completely edited and up by bedtime tonight.

Gratitudes: I can find *all* my clothes. And they fit in my drawers and closet. I have lots of food in the house, including quick and easy food for bad pain days for hubby. I have nice clean sheets and clean comforter on my bed.

Accountability Post:
Yesterday was -- Ummm -- beyond busy. I was literally occupied with something important from 5 am to 7:30 pm. Went to bed at 8:30. And it set me back quite a bit on other things. So. Today I'm finishing all the notes, and finishing beta testing Adam's course, seeing 8 clients, and writing one article. Tomorrow I will finish editing the video, make the meme, and go about restructuring my publishing schedule to add and delete some things to make it more productive.

After seeing five people on Saturday, I will tackle one room in the basement from top to bottom including mopping the floor with bleach. Sunday will be a day of rest, and Monday will be laundry and another room in the basement OR possibly organizing the shed.

Gratitudes: I am enormously grateful that someone with the funds to do so bought my old house and is fixing it up, possibly for resale. I have wonderful memories of that house and feel guilty about the way I left the old girl. I am grateful that despite having new medical bills, I have the funds to pay them. I am grateful for the nifty "new" clothes I picked up at the thrift store on Monday.

Accountability Post: Headed to the office earlier than I'd planned because I left my mouse pad at work, and without it, I don't have the precision I need to do my video editing. Yes, I know touchpads are a thing. I'm old, and I hate them. Next question?

Woke up with a massive earache in my left ear. It's been bad off and on for a week. Time to power through.

Today's to-do includes video editing, writing an article, unlocking some posts, making sure I share and advertise some stuff, seeing six people including an intake, doing some more notes, and running to the store to pick up cat food and something I can't remember right now but hopefully will come to me. Also, if I have time, scanning and shredding documents and printing out some medical records for requests I've gotten.

I've renewed my energy a bit by getting good sleep. I think I can get most or all of that done. Also, this morning I *really* want to start getting my bujo to the place where I'm using it well again. I'm going to have to add daily pages to my weekly pages to make it work, but that's fine. They don't have to be fancy.

Gratitudes: I am grateful for ibuprofen. I am grateful that today has less 'built-in' busyness so that I can decide what goes where. I am grateful that my husband started my morning by making my coffee a one-button-press deal.

So I called my dad. And he started talking about how wonderful it was that some South American country has a new libertarian government (pick one. There are several). Then he started talking about how I should be buying all my food organic, and I pointed out that I'm too broke to, at which point he demanded to know how much money I make, and when I pointed out that I make standard for my industry and don't intend to change jobs, he started pushing me on changing careers. I pointed out that the issue isn't that I don't make decent money, it's that we have a barbaric health care system and literally about half of my income every year goes to my husband's care. He started *screaming* at me that health care isn't a right.

Then it got worse. I hung up because OH NO FUCKING SHIT HE DIDN'T. I don't have a birth family any more, because all three of my siblings will *certainly* say I was in the wrong. Fuck it.

Accountability Post: Finally got the daily/weekly/monthly tasks put into my BuJo and am quite happy with my absolutely not artistic attempts. I am going to *try* to have a video up by bedtime, and I have a couple of cancellations today to make that possible. If I do, it'll probably be about taking a pause before disciplining a child and how that can improve parenting.

I went to the eye doctor yesterday and ordered a lovely pair of glasses that will arrive in about a week or two. Looking forward to being able to see without tipping my head *all the way back* anymore.

Later today I sign the bankruptcy paperwork with my lawyer. Then I will get a monthly payment that will allow me to partially pay back my creditors (who collected *plenty* of interest off me over the years of docs telling us that Jason was going to get better) and still live within my budget.

Gratitudes: I love that most of my mornings with my husband consist of us discussing the news of the day and tying it into philosophical foundations, and bad dad jokes, and coffee. I am grateful that the "cure" for my dry eyes is hot compresses 2x a day. After only two applications the difference is already noticeable. Soon I'll have those tear ducts unblocked. I am grateful that my husband, at least, appreciates that my income is secondary to the amount of help I'm able to give in my business calculations.

Accountability Post: Another long day. Nine appointments scheduled, and my overdue video to record. This might be another one video week, and I am now TWO (soon to be three) articles behind. I will have a paperwork day on Saturday that will be devoted to scanning, shredding, and writing.

I have something affecting me that is HIPAA protected so I can't discuss it, so I will probably be utilizing my peer supervision with one of my two co-peers sometime this week. Self-care is important, folks.

I'm probably going to noodle about bullet journaling and mental health in an upcoming video because it has been revolutionary in the way it has changed my life and it is a *customizable* experience for nearly anyone literate.

We signed the paperwork for the bankruptcy yesterday, and *all of our debt* will be *gone* in a few weeks except the monthly payment we'll be making. Folks, if you can possibly avoid having a long, slow, expensive health decline during which doctors are assuring you that the *next* surgery will fix everything, please do so. Bankruptcy isn't fun. And yes, the advice was sarcasm. I mean, we started this surgery journey back in 2006 or even earlier. And it was *realistic* that he was going to get better.

Gratitudes: A huge weight almost entirely off my shoulders (still have the meeting with the creditors to get through). A budget that will be *affordable* for us, and even allow some savings. The muse has stuck with me now pretty much constantly for several months.

Accountability Post: Today's video is currently uploading to YouTube, but I have some cover art to create before I publish it, so possibly this evening. I plan to go back through literally *all* of the videos to date and change up their intro and extro to be consistent and re-edit the video to improve the look and/or sound. I'll start with a couple of them this weekend.

Tomorrow is my big "paperwork day" which, post-bankruptcy, mostly means scanning and shredding, plus a couple of medical records requests and some re-credentialing. No biggie. But nice to start getting caught up.

It's pouring rain here and we've already lost power briefly. I wonder how many clients will discover they don't want to drive in the rain today. (Hey, it happens, and I get it).

The other thing I need to do today is to finish my *three* overdue articles. All three have first drafts, so it's mostly just formatting and readability cleanup, but still.

I've been reading the Throne of Glass series by Sarah L. Maas, which I'm enjoying quite a bit. Thanks, Elizabeth Liles, for turning me on to it. When I finish I have a couple of other series to play with.

Gratitudes: I am grateful to live in a house without a leaky roof. I am grateful that my sister in law's dog, who we're dog sitting this weekend, is sweet and quiet. I am grateful for the people who believe I bring some value to the world.

Accountability Post: Still super tired and shaky, but I'm going to make it to work today. At least my stomach is feeling better. I'm pretty sure it was just a *really bad* IBS episode. No fever or anything, so that's a good guess.

Thanks to L.M. Kate JohnsTon, I have a succinct phrase to sum up "social justice perspective". It means "even when the world doesn't, I've got your back.". And now the "steps" are coming clear, too. Yay. This is actually a really big deal for me. I've been gestating this for quite a bit. (Note to self: also want to discuss the idea of "gestating change" in a video at some point.

Here's a first draft of the "principles" of the social justice perspective. Feedback is welcome. If you're reading this and are not a friend, message me. I have my page set to only comments from friends for a very important professional reason.

1. Look at all the ways that biology, trauma, human systems, privilege and marginalization play in your life and in your mental health situation.
2. Help you to recognize all these different influences and where they come from.
3. Help you work with all of these different influences where they benefit you, and fight them or accept them (always your choice) where they don’t.
4. Make consent culture explicit in your mental health, including pointing out and assisting in relationships in personal life and the community where your consent and boundaries are not being respected.
5. Encouraging you to recognize your emotions and work with them (redirecting them into positive venues) vs. attempting to “control” (suppress) them.
6. Center your life in the context of community, however that is defined in your life.

The social justice perspective does not attempt to make activists out of everyone. It simply attempts to have everyone understand how the things that systems do affect them.

It is different from the bio/psycho/social model in that instead of leaving the understanding of how society affects individuals in the hands of professionals, it explicitly works to have individuals understand how their lives and their choices are affected by systems.

A perspective in mental health is different from a theory or a modality, in that it is used in addition to specific therapy methods rather than instead of.

Anyhoo. That gives me tomorrow's video. If I stop being shaky long enough to record it.

Gratitudes: I am grateful for a day of rest. I am grateful for a soft, comfortable bed. I am grateful that I'm feeling *somewhat* better today.